There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
