You really coming over, don't trick.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize