I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
