First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
