Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
