I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
