dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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