Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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