If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
