Dual....:-)
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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