Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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