I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
