We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize