clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
