Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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