if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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