My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
