You're a womanizer and a bitch.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Of course I have a pirate flag
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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