STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
