I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
