He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
