What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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