I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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