I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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