Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize