Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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