I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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