the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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