you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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