I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
