it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
