i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
