eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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