Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
