Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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