bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize