There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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