Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
