if you like me you must not know who I am
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
