whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
