grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
