There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
