Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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