Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
