I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
