Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
