I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
