I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
