vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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