Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
