I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
