I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
