I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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