So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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