she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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