Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
