You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
