I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
