Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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