Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
