I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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