The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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